• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Shelley Wood

wordsmith, wanderer, friend to dogs

  • Also Written
  • About
  • The Quintland Sisters
  • Praise
  • Blog

Birthday Suspension Notice

December 30, 2014 By Shelley Wood

Slide1

Dear friends and social-media acquaintances of Shelley Wood. We regret to inform you that Facebook has elected to suspend Shelley’s birthday indefinitely, based on her failure to grow into her previous 10 ages. All birthday greetings posted to her social accounts — and please pause here to question the wisdom of automating birthday announcements on LinkedIn — remain visible to Shelley* but have been edited to have the syllable “birth” removed. Should Shelley take the necessary steps of consulting a financial planner or lifestyle coach, dressing in tailored clothing and leather-soled shoes, contributing something (anything!) to a tax-free savings account, and basically growing the hell up, we will consider lifting the suspension. She will be advised of these measures the instant we can convince her to stop throwing snowballs for her dog on the mountain and come inside.

Sincerely,

Facebook

*Facebook heatmapping suggests she is extremely engaged and pleased with them.

Filed Under: BLOG

Footer

Subscribe to the Blog

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • Everywhere, Twinkling
  • The Big Birthday
  • The Story Ends Because
  • Elevator Dog: A Metaphor

CONNECT

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Copyright © 2023 Shelley Wood